“I will offer you a simple litmus test to determine whether a person has healthy or unhealthy religion. What do they do with their pain—even their daily little disappointments? Do they transform their pain or do they transmit it?
We all have pain—it’s the human situation, we all carry it in a big black bag behind us and it gets heavier as we get older: by betrayals, rejections, disappointments, and wounds that are inflicted along the way. If we do not find some way to transform our pain, I can tell you with 100% certitude we will transmit it to those around us.
At the end of life, and probably early in life, too, the question is, ‘What do I do with this disappointment, with this absurdity, with this sadness?'” — Richard Rohr
If we don’t see how Jesus came to transform our pain, and thereby our relations with each other, and not just our relationship with God, then we have missed a big part of what he was doing. Even the cross is about more than going to heaven when we die; it’s also about dealing with the hell that’s here.