PRACTICE One, cont’d.
A few quick things to report with practice one. That’s actually the first thing to report. Part of the goal of doing these things at all is to give some staying power to what God is doing in my life. The stuff I wrote below about not being God (or his boss) isn’t something I want to leave my consciousness. I want to have it with me at all times, bearing fruit in its season; but, I find that it is no sooner in my soul than I can feel it being assaulted by birds of the air, and crowded out by other concerns of life. My spirit replies, “No!! It’s mine!! God gave it to me!!! I need this revelation to become like Jesus and really live!!!”
I am now more convinced than ever that I should get in the habit of calling them ‘practices’ instead of ‘steps.’ A step, in my mind, is something I approach, stand on for a second, and move beyond. That’s not what I’m doing here; nor is it what I think God wants. (Incidentally, it’s not how AA uses the ‘steps’ either.) I want my life to contain each of these practices ongoingly, to be shaped by them. And I actually need practice admitting my God-given limitations–I can do it now sporadically, not routinely.